This Leeds home improvements decisions blog is a must read for homeowners and aims to help:
Couples and those living with others (such as with family or friends) who are struggling to agree on how to improve their homes
It will look at the areas and issues where people can clash and disagree over
And offer advice on how to compromise and get beautiful homes that you (hopefully) all enjoy and love
(Even if you live on your own, some of this blog’s considerations, questions to ask yourself, and ways to get advice - may help you in arriving at making more informed home improvement decisions. Resulting in a home that works best for you and your lifestyle).
Home improvements Leeds or Fairy Tale Land?
Maybe you’ve lucked out, are living happily ever after and you never encounter any home improvement disagreements perhaps because:
You and your partner, or those you live with, all share the same home improvement ideas and style
One or more of you is easy going/carefree and is happy to leave all the interior design, painting and decorating and landscape garden design ideas decisions to the other
Or maybe you have already mastered the art of compromise for the look and feel of your home that pleases everyone (or at least doesn’t offend anyone)
Meanwhile back in Leeds:
[Couple traipsing round the shops all day… Again. Now in the umpteenth bedroom showroom… Again!]
“If it means that much, you can have that #*$%@&! bed, but I tell you what, you’ll be sleeping in it on your #*&$@^% own!”
So where did it all go wrong?
Maybe you’ve been friends, or are related, and or known the person all or a significant part of your life.
Maybe you’re in a relationship and it was love at first sight. You met the person of your dreams. You loved the same restaurants, shared the same taste in music, both cried during the same movie, laughed at each other’s jokes. You thought you had found your soul mate…
Then [horror-movie-esque lightning flash and thunder sound]… you started living together. One wanted black, the other wanted white… if only they could do it in grey!
Are you bringing anything to the table (literally)?
When people start living together their starting positions can play a significant role in getting a home that is suitable to all. Perhaps:
It’s their first home so they are having to start from scratch in terms of any improvements to the home and furnishing the home
Maybe one person is moving into somebody else’s existing home
Maybe two people are selling their existing properties to start a new home together
In all cases (especially those moving in) will probably want to put their own stamp on the property. And this will result in decisions having to be made in terms of buying new, keeping, replacing or getting rid of items.
“Quick maths: If two people both come from fully furnished three bedroom houses and move in together, they have two options: get a six bedroom house or declutter”.
What are some Leeds home improvement decisions that people can disagree on
OK, let’s make this [hopefully shorter] and assume that you have already agreed/compromised/capitulated [delete as appropriate] on the location you are going to live and the type of property (that you are going to live in, or are already living in).
[The I want to live nearer ‘MY’ friends/family/work… Or I want to live on the same level in a new build flat vs I want to go upstairs to bed in a period property… Or I want to renovate the place we’re in vs I want to move to another house and start again argument, for example, are blogs in their own right].
So you have your ‘together home’ and you have to decide initial factors such as:
What home improvements you would like to do (new kitchen, bathroom, extension, redecorating, interior redesign, garden landscaping, or even a Leeds garden room or garage conversion for a home office or extra space etc.)
When you would like to do them
What is your budget (our previous blog offers helpful advice on this)
Are you going the DIY route or hiring Leeds home improvement service professionals for ideas and advice from Leeds painters decorators, interior designers or Leeds landscape gardeners to transform your space
More finer detail home improvement decisions to (dis)agree on
OK, so you’ve decided you’d like a new bedroom, you want this doing asap, you’ve agreed your budget and you’re getting the professionals in. High five’s all round!
Now for the hard part… and you have to decide:
Is anything staying from the old bedroom or are you planning to use items you’re bringing from any previous living arrangements
What size bed (double, king, or bigger?)
What style bed (divan, sleigh, wooden, leather, four poster, antique style, French etc.)
Then there’s the mattress, quilts, pillows, covers, throws, scatter cushions ("My husband absolutely ‘insists’ on scatter cushions"… said no wife ever) [Ahem, gender stereotyping aside we continue]:
Fitted wardrobes or freestanding
Any bedside units
Any dressing tables
Floor covering (reclaimed wooden floorboards/flooring or carpets)
Window treatments (curtains, blinds or shutters etc.)
Lighting (ceiling, bedside lamps). Do you want the lights dimmable to change the mood?
Paint or wallpaper for the walls/ceiling. Gloss or satin or eggshell for the woodwork?
Whole room or feature wall
What brand, what colours
Masculine or feminine theme
Minimalist (neutral and less is more) or maximalist (vibrant and lots going on)
Number and size of any mirrors
Any seating
Any shelving, display items, ornaments
Any art or photos
Do you need to reposition or replace (more modern, stylish, or designer) any radiators
Do you need to move or add any extra light switches, sockets. Change to/from white or chrome or other colours etc.?
If space permits do you want an en-suite bathroom
If space permits do you want an area for a walk in wardrobe
Do you want music or a TV in your bedroom
Oh, and once you have all these things, you have to agree on the small matter of the room layout
And this is before you move onto discussing any other bedrooms and rooms…
Transforming a bedroom can sometimes require agreement on hundreds of decisions
So what are your room, home style and finish options
If one person likes a minimalist, less is more, neutral coloured flat with everything out of site/nothing out of place, and the other a vibrant, lots going on, full of furniture/furnishings/accessories house, then baring living apart how can a middle ground acceptable to all be reached?
Person 1) “Maybe if I put more art/photos on the wall the colour wouldn’t offend you as much?”
Person 2) “Sorry, I couldn’t hear that because your room colours are so loud!”
Finding your middle ground (literally)
Communication is key. Try talking this though, though if you find it easier write things down:
(For the more mathematically inclined draw a Venn diagram). For the less mathematically inclined draw/divide off a piece of paper (or spreadsheet) into sections for each party with a decision regarding your home improvements.
For each person (discuss or) list home improvement decisions or items:
that you absolutely MUST have
that you would NOT be able to accept (your kind of red lines)
things that you are fairly neutral on or would be willing to compromise
Keeping to the bedroom, for example:
Person 1) "I must have a king bed, I don’t want a leather bed or too masculine, I’m fairly open to the mattress as long as it’s comfy"
Person 2) "I must have a memory foam mattress, I don’t want anything too ornate or over-elaborate, I’ll let you choose the bedding"
When everyone has completed their wish lists there will hopefully be enough areas where you all agree or at least areas where others are neutral or willing to compromise (as in the above made up example).
What about when people are vehemently opposed, and are at opposite end of the Leeds home improvement ideas spectrum?
Yes the black vs white, carpet vs wooden floor, shelves vs plain walls, frilly vs plain bedding, light emulsioned walls vs grand elegant patterned wallpaper, lawn and colourful plants vs minimalist low maintenance paved garden design etc. etc. etc.
When you don’t want to take meeting in the middle too literally and end up with half the room styled one way with the dividing line being the centre of the bespoke stitched quilt cover that is frilly on one side and plain on the other.
Start asking why?
If we take the carpet vs wooden floor debate, start being curious as to why the other feels strongly about a particular style or finish:
Maybe that’s what they’ve been used to in all previous homes
One may like the warmer cosier feeling of a carpet under their feet. And thinks it is less likely to mark, unlike wooden floors if something heavy is dropped on it
One may feel that a carpet holds more dust and allergens. And that a wooden floor is easier to clean (especially if liquid such as red wine is spilt)…
So some practical solutions (hopefully resulting in a middle ground compromise) may be:
Wooden floors, but with a large area rug (like a best of both)
Or some rooms with carpets (maybe the upstairs or bedrooms)
And the downstairs or high traffic areas (such as hallways) as wooden floors
Plus a strict no outdoor shoes on any carpets rule, to minimise any dirt
Or (for some houses) a third way, such as tiled floors throughout
(Without taking sides, it is generally accepted that carpets are best avoided in kitchens and bathrooms due to risk of spills and ease of cleaning)
Ask others:
Maybe you feel that you and your husband, wife, partner, or others that you live with are too emotionally involved to give fair reasons as to why they want a particular home improvement.
If so, then in agreeing your painting and decorating, interior design, kitchen, bathroom, landscape gardening, or garden room – style or finish, try asking someone who is less attached and who can give more objective opinions.
You could ask:
Friends, how they find having wooden floors, a gravel drive, a lawn, granite worktops, an L shaped-sofa, display shelving, a summerhouse, designer wallpaper throughout, or whatever it is they have that you’d like to find out more on
You could ask work colleagues or neighbours. (Neighbours are particularly useful especially if their home is similar layout to yours, albeit sometimes the mirror image)
Google can be a great resource for different perspectives
Try Googling something in a non-leading way such as: pros and cons carpets vs wooden floors, rather than adding bias by typing ten reasons carpets are better than wooden floors
When researching online (e.g. searching: what’s best granite or wooden worktops) try get the consensus from a forum, or home magazine, or newspaper comparison article (rather than, for example, from an online granite worktop specialist only selling granite worktops), for more impartiality
If nine out of ten people are saying don’t go for xyz style, or colour, or finish then take heed. Though do remember ultimately it is your home. (Or should I say ALL of your homes… Hmm which is why we’re having this discussion in the first place)
You could also ask a Leeds home improvements professional who should (Love Your Home Leeds would) be happy to offer free initial ideas and advice of Leeds interior designers, painters and decorators and landscape gardeners etc. to help you find a scheme that tries to consider everyone’s viewpoint and is acceptable to all
As well as being independent and impartial, a home improvements specialist would be able to see your home with fresh eyes and offer alternative interior and exterior design perspectives (that people living there may have overlooked) to get the space working for you and your lifestyles
In summary: here’s some top tips and considerations for (hopefully) more harmonious home improvements in Leeds decision making:
Don’t swear in furniture shops. Wait until you get home!
Ok all jokes aside, as we ARE trying to promote peace and harmony and beautifully decorated homes that are enjoyed and loved by all:
Remember your number one goal is to ALL be happy living in your home
The style and personality should reflect all the individuals
Communicate communicate communicate. Talk openly about how you all want your space to look and feel and work for your lifestyles
Listen. [Yes, also important enough to be repeated three times]. Try keep an open mind and see it from the other persons point of view
Look at the practicalities of your decisions i.e. something may look nicer, but may not be as easy to keep clean
Also practicalities in terms of use. If you all love six hour marathon box sets then the comfort of your sofa, for example, may weight more heavily than it’s look
If in doubt always ask Google and get a consensus from forums or home magazine articles etc.
When you each have your own space such as a shed or a home office or a (separate) bedroom, (and it is not going to affect the other), let the person style, decorate and furnish that how they please
For shared space that you both use, try and style using colours that you are both ok with. (If you both 'detest' each other’s first choices of tangerine orange and plum purple, then the off white that you both 'don’t mind' might just be the compromise...)
Pick your battles i.e. would it really be the end of the world if there was a frilly cushion on the bed? [Come on, you’re not even going to see it once you’re asleep]
Share how strongly you feel about each decision and assign a number if it helps on the how-strong-about-this-home-improvement-do-you-feel-ometer. If you’re both or all adamant that the choice of your bed is a ‘ten’ then:
Take turns in decisions e.g. if one chooses the bed frame, the other chooses the mattress. Then the other can choose the quilt, the next the cover. And flip a coin for who chooses the colour
Or get two different bedding sets, so each alternate week you each have your preferred look
(Note, if you are taking turns then try keep each home improvement decision of similar importance/weighting e.g. imho “I choose the kitchen units, so you choose the oven gloves” is not in the spirit of cooperation)
Don’t leave it all to one person. Instead shop together, and all be involved so everyone’s input and preferences are put in the mix from the outset
Don’t introduce your ideas by stealth i.e. “You said you didn’t mind that small green vase I bought last year… so SURPRISE look what colour I’ve painted the whole house whilst you’ve been away on business”
If somebody wants a strong colour, perhaps limit it to a feature wall or alcoves
Think of others (external to your home that is). It may be safer to stay neutral décor if you are thinking of selling your home in the next few years
On that note, you can always ask the advice of your local estate agent in terms of safer painting and decorating, interior design colour schemes and garden designs that will appeal to more others. (Love Your Home Leeds can also offer ideas and advice on home staging in Leeds to help maximise interest if you’re ever looking to sell or rent your property)
You can always accessorise your rooms and home and use any vivid or bold as accent colours. (It’s easier to change the odd turquoise vase or a sofa throw than to have to start stripping vibrant wallpaper and redecorate every room if you later have a change of heart on colour)
Likewise, try make it easier for each other: It's probably less effort trying to bring the other round to the idea of a couple of lime scatter cushions, to add interest to a grey sofa. Rather than neutral cushions accessorising a bright green sofa (unless you all love bright green that is!)
Finally, give it time. You may hate the idea now but once the ‘flame red feature wall’ is there in time you may begin to, ahem, ‘warm’ to it (pun intended)
(I have personal experience of not initially liking [think vehemently opposed] some of my wife’s home improvements suggestions. However with time, familiarity and use - I’m so glad we have them now. [Well, ‘some of’ – in case she reads this]. Even to the point where I am so used to them and their benefits that I would choose them myself if we were to move home)
So again, do try to keep an open mind… and good luck!
All the hard work, difficult decisions and compromise CAN be worth it…
Love Your Home Leeds are based in Moortown LS17 and mostly help homeowners and landlords in and around North Leeds area. For any home improvements advice, ideas or to [act as a referee] I mean offer impartial advice and maybe another perspective, for your interior design ideas Leeds, painting and decorating ideas, landscape garden design ideas, or Leeds garden rooms ideas then please get in touch.
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